One of the things I have learnt as part of my growing up, is that we adults see far less than children. We acquire blind spots that conveniently glaze over those aspects of life that we do not agree with, or cannot handle. Blind faith, denial and fear form the formidable filter of our psyche, making us see security where perhaps there is only ennui, making us see the dullness of routine, where perhaps indifference (and even hatred!) has set in.
The few moments at night, before sleep smothers us, we sometimes find the blind spots unravelling. We begin to see glimmers of the truth, of the hopelessness of the compromises we have made. We begin to remember all the silly promises we'd made to ourselves as young people - truth, self respect...all promises of how we would continue to feel inside. Faint stirrings of a resolve just before we turn in - I will try and make tomorrow different. I will square up my situation, make what changes I can. Will not continue one more day with this blind spot...
But yet, we do. Much easier that way.
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